so, the last few weeks have been really crazy. nothing of which i really expected.

first last thursday I got a call from my aunt telling me that my grandfather had passed away. i right away hopped onto a flight to sacramento, which i almost missed. once in sacramento i was swept off to my sister's house to have dinner with all the family. the dinner part was fine, it was the next day that i was dreading! that really is no joke either. i was scared to see what condition my grandmother was in. after 63 years of marriage, it had ended, he was gone. i was calmed to notice that my grandmother was in pretty good shape considering. It was nice to see all the family there and pulling together. i tried as hard as i could to keep it together, however when my grandmother got out my grandfather's wedding ring i LOST it. I cried and it was not going to stop. i touched that gold ring and somehow i felt as though i was connecting to him. i had never touched that ring before and it just felt sad that he was gone. he will never see me again. he will never tell me he loves me again. and i will never get to hear him again... he is gone. the whole death thing is SO complicated i can barely get my mind around it. i mean, i understand all the concepts of dying and death, but gone? where does that mean? gone still means somewhere. i just dont know where that is. i miss him, i wonder if i will ever see him again. i wonder if can see me. i wonder if he is with anyone. i wonder if he can contact me from 'where ever'.

well... the rest of the week has been pretty crazy too....
i have visited with sister and the girls, and poof she askes me to go on a cruise with her this weekend. So i am cruising to mexico this sunday.

i have been on holiday since june 30th and will not be home until july 14th. i HAD NO plans to be away from home this long. i already miss winnie. she is only 8 months and she misses her mommy!!!!!

anyways, i have got to get to bed. it is late and i am riding the train to San Francisco tomorrow....

xo, Lindsey